Thursday, July 11, 2024 — Today marks the end of my LSSJ writing retreat, and as I prepare to return home with my family, I find myself reflecting on the importance of my homeland, Nigeria, particularly Lagos, in parenting. In Africa, parenting is often viewed as a communal effort, where the burden of raising a child is shared among the community. This sense of community support provides relief to parents, especially during the demanding early stages of child-rearing.
In contrast, parenting in the UK, where I currently reside, is more individualistic, with parents often shouldering the responsibility on their own. However, during this retreat, I had the pleasure of experiencing a glimpse of that communal parenting style again when we visited another couple. It was incredibly relaxing to get away to spend some time with another young couple, creating an environment where the child could play and interact with different individuals. The shared responsibility and support from both couples created a therapeutic atmosphere, allowing for moments of relaxation and relief, particularly for our wives.
This experience has led me to reflect on the African community parenting style and its therapeutic benefits. I am considering titling my blog “African Community Parenting Style Therapeutism” as it encapsulates the essence of my reflections on this topic. It is crucial to appreciate and acknowledge the unique parenting style found in African cultures, as it provides a different perspective and approach to raising children.
As we prepare to leave our friends and return to our own home, I am reminded of the bittersweet nature of such moments. While it is relaxing to spend time with our loved ones, we must also face the reality of continuing with our daily lives. This realization highlights the importance of appreciating what we have while we have it. Sometimes, we only truly appreciate something when it is absent from our lives. In this case, I am grateful for the support and sense of community that we have experienced during this retreat/get away.
Moving forward, I acknowledge the challenges of being a Ph.D. student and a father of two. As my wife’s maternity leave comes to an end, I will be taking on the role of babysitting while she returns to work. Balancing my responsibilities as a student and a parent will undoubtedly be a task, but I am fortunate to have the support of our family and friends who have made this journey easier for us.
As I drive home and transition back into the role of a caregiver, I anticipate reflecting on the life of a Ph.D. student who is also a father. I will continue to share my experiences and insights in my subsequent blogs, hoping to inspire and encourage others to appreciate the benefits of our daily learning, for example own culture and environment, in this context. It is through these reflections that we can cultivate a deeper understanding of our uniqueness and foster a sense of appreciation of our processes.
Key Points of the Day:
1. Reflecting on the importance of African community parenting style.
2. Appreciating the support and sense of community during the retreat.
3. Preparing to transition into the role of a caregiver as my wife’s maternity leave ends.
Insights of the Day:
• The African community parenting style provides a sense of relief and support for parents, particularly during the early stages of child-rearing.
• We often fail to appreciate the benefits of our culture and environment until they are absent from our lives.
• Balancing the responsibilities of being a Ph.D. student and a parent requires support from family and friends.
That wraps up today’s journal entry. If you’d like to explore more topics, you can visit my previous blog post using the next button below.
